Spring has come around again, although it hasn't really felt like it, in more ways than one.
I feel like this month's been somewhat of a low for me. Maybe it's because of the daylight savings or the late snowfall, but either way that time change always seems to do a number on the mood.
I've been feeling disillusioned with posting my art on DeviantArt lately, and while this isn't the first time it's happened, it somehow feels worse than in the past. It's moreso the wider DA community that's frustrating me, every time I open my inbox the vast majority of it is favebomb after favebomb after favebomb, or some comment that compares one of my characters to a more famous character, as if the perosn who posted that is just trying to antagonise me. There are far too many people on DA who only care about fanart or jumping on the bandwagon of what's popular, and/or want people to do free requests for them all the time, to the point of harrassment. I have no time for people like that, and I say that as someone who was like that at times in my earlier days on DA, which I deeply regret, as it probably drove a few people away. And maybe I'm sounding selfish here, but sometimes I feel like I take the time to check out people's artworks and leave feedback, and 9 times out of 10 it doesn't get reciprocated. I'm not saying people have to leave feedback, it's their choice, and I get that people are busy and/or just don't know what to say sometimes. I just like to hear what people think about my artworks, and sometimes I just feel they only acknowledge my existence when I check out their artworks and/or use it as an opportunity to big themselves up - I don't have time for those people either. At the end of the day, I believe you should make time for your fans, and I personally always try to.
All of this is part of the reason I migrated my comics to Tapastic. I admit, the revenue side of that was the other main motivator because ultimately I want to use my artwork to make a living, and I'm sure anyone who's in my position can understand that, especially if you're married and trying to pay the bills.
Like I said last month though, I still have no intention of ever leaving DA, even though I feel that my patience has been severely tested lately. I know there are people who do enjoy my artworks, and I don't want to take that away from them. You are the people who motivate me to stay on DA and keep on making my art, and I can't put into words how much I do appreciate that.
I wish I could say it gets better, and it sort of did but didn't. I had my very first job interview this month, for a warehouse/office job nearby. I felt like I said most of the right things at the interview, but unfortunately I didn't get the job, and I'm still disappointed about it - it would have been ideal hours in an ideal location and a not too terrible commute either. If anything, it was some much-needed interview practice, and the company did say they would keep my details on file, so hopefully in the future I might get another chance with them. I can't help but wonder what could've been though.
I also joined a temp agency this month, in the hope of being able to do some temp jobs in the meantime - however the agency I signed up with have so far turned out to be less than great at what they do, I contacted them every day for 2 weeks and they didn't answer once, so I've decided to try a couple of different agencies instead - I'll let you know how that goes.
I know there are some who will say that I'm crying over spilt milk, that there are far worse problems in this world than some thirtysomething British ex-pat in America complaining about his artwork and not being able to get a job. Those people are probably right. I should be thankful that I have a roof over my head, that I'm married to my soulmate, I have an artisitic ability at all, and that I have the love and support of my family. And these grievances, like most, will pass.
March hasn't been completely gloomy however - I've been continuing working on the first Fyfe & Sparkplug comic, and I've got 10 pages inked so far, at the time of writing this. Also, as mentioned above, I've been hosting my comics on Tapastic for a month now, and they're getting a lot of hits, so I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to visit my Tapastic page and check out the comics, I really do appreciate it.
That side job at Nicole's work that I started last month has a been a bit of a learning curve. I've set up the meetings 3 times now, and it's certainly kept me on my toes. I've been told I'm doing a good job with it so far, save for some minor hiccups here and there. That's how any job goes though, it takes time to master it.
I'm also glad that the lighter, and hopefully soon, warmer days and nights are back again. It's things like that and being able to spend quality time with Nicole that make things worthwhile.
Hope I can bring you a happer blog for April - until then, I'll leave you with this group shot of my "Surf Club" comic cast, to remind you of warmer days to come.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
31/03/2017
31/07/2015
July 2015
I know I probably sound like a broken record when saying this, but July was definitely a month of two halves, but at the same time very eventful - I just wish I could say that it was all good things.
So that means there's a lot of bad things to get out of the way first - and this is something that's really been going on for a long time now, and I might've mentioned this already, so I apologise if I'm repeating myself.
I feel that there's a time when everyone gets older and "wakes up and smells the coffee", as the saying goes; a time when you begin to realise how absolutely screwed up this world really is. I'm talking about the bad news, politicians doing all they can to keep the rich richer and the poor poorer, terrorists blowing everything to kingdom come, another person getting stabbed in the street...you know what I mean. I hate it, I hate thinking about it, and I try to avoid is as much as I can, by not watching the telly, not reading the papers, and not checking the sites online, but one way or another I end up hearing about it. As a result, every now and again I'm made all to aware of all that's wrong in the world, and it gets too much for me to handle - but I also have to remember, that not everything that is reported in the news is fact, because it's all manipulated by the media into generating views/readers/numbers, etc. You know what I mean, you know the score.
Lately I've also been becoming very disillusioned with DeviantArt - on both an artistic and a social level. I'm fed up of seeing nothing put MLP, FNAF, anime and Sonic recolours as the popular stuff there, and original artworks and artists getting pushed to one side. Doesn't anyone give a crap about originality anymore? The same question could go to musicians and film studios, but I digress.
I've also just felt disconnected from my friends on DA - like we have nothing to say or talk about. In other words, my social anxiety's just worse than ever. It's why I've decided to stop doing livestreams every week, and just do them every now and again, because the truth is, the last few times I've done a livestream I feel like I'm spectating my own livestream, like I'm not even part of it. It's partly my fault and other people's fault, too - I wish I was better at engaging people and keeping up a conversation instead of being shy and anxious, but I will be more likely to do that if those people meet me halfway. Maybe they don't mean to give me the impression that they're avoiding me, maybe they're just as shy and anxious - but behind a screen, how do you know that for sure? I might be coming across as an attention-seeker with this, maybe I am, I don't know, but I don't intend that. I don't want to be the centre of attention, but I also don't want to feel left out. It's a conflict of interest and emotions, and it just makes me want to explode, to be honest.
On the same note, I'm also sick and tired of getting people on DA who only watch me or interact with me because they want something - only wanting to see certain types of art from me, wanting to do an art trade where they put nowhere near as much effort into their half of the trade as I do mine, etc.
In short: DA is supposed to be creative and enjoyable - and lately I'm not getting that.
To cap all of this bad stuff off, there's been a setback with my immigration to the US - me and Nicole were told that I could be moving there in August. Not anymore. Basically, it's going to take longer for the US Embassy to give me an interview date than previously thought, it's only the instructions on what I need to do that will be coming in August, not the interview date. It's now looking more likely that I will be having the visa interview in either October or November, which is later than we previously thought. Not gonna lie, both me and Nicole are frustrated about it, because it means more time apart - but on the flipside, it gives us more time to prepare for the interview, and it gives me more time with my family, which is good, and it softens the blow quite a bit. And there's that old saying, "everything happens for a reason" - maybe this is how it's meant to happen.
There has been light in this month too, though - on July 10th, me and my brother revisited a place from our childhood, the seaside town of Scarborough in North Yorkshire - and it was almost like 15 years hadn't passed. We had an absolute blast seeing the sights and reminiscing about our childhood memories, and you can read all about it right here.
Scarborough wasn't the only highlight of this month, either - the end of the month saw me and my brother also making another visit to the Sunderland Airshow. It was my fifth time there and ten years since my first visit, it was just as popular and packed as it was back then, and the aircraft displays as ever were nothing short of impressive - it never ceases to amaze me just how the pilots of those aircraft are able to pull off such technical and daredevil moves. The displays included the all-prop Blades aerobatic team; the Black Cats helicopter duo; two parachute drops from the Tigers Freefall Team and the RAF Falcons; the very loud Eurofighter Typhoon; the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight featuring the Spitfire and Hurricane; an air and ground attack demo by a pair of Hawk T2s, and of course the always awesome Red Arrows. Who knows if I'll ever get to go to that airshow again, given the circumstances, but never say never.
I hope I can give you a more positive blog next month - I'll leave you with some Shark Week-inspired artwork to brighten things up.
PS: Click the links below to check out the action from the Sunderland Airshow:
Sunderland Airshow 2015: Part 1
Sunderland Airshow 2015: Part 2
So that means there's a lot of bad things to get out of the way first - and this is something that's really been going on for a long time now, and I might've mentioned this already, so I apologise if I'm repeating myself.
I feel that there's a time when everyone gets older and "wakes up and smells the coffee", as the saying goes; a time when you begin to realise how absolutely screwed up this world really is. I'm talking about the bad news, politicians doing all they can to keep the rich richer and the poor poorer, terrorists blowing everything to kingdom come, another person getting stabbed in the street...you know what I mean. I hate it, I hate thinking about it, and I try to avoid is as much as I can, by not watching the telly, not reading the papers, and not checking the sites online, but one way or another I end up hearing about it. As a result, every now and again I'm made all to aware of all that's wrong in the world, and it gets too much for me to handle - but I also have to remember, that not everything that is reported in the news is fact, because it's all manipulated by the media into generating views/readers/numbers, etc. You know what I mean, you know the score.
Lately I've also been becoming very disillusioned with DeviantArt - on both an artistic and a social level. I'm fed up of seeing nothing put MLP, FNAF, anime and Sonic recolours as the popular stuff there, and original artworks and artists getting pushed to one side. Doesn't anyone give a crap about originality anymore? The same question could go to musicians and film studios, but I digress.
I've also just felt disconnected from my friends on DA - like we have nothing to say or talk about. In other words, my social anxiety's just worse than ever. It's why I've decided to stop doing livestreams every week, and just do them every now and again, because the truth is, the last few times I've done a livestream I feel like I'm spectating my own livestream, like I'm not even part of it. It's partly my fault and other people's fault, too - I wish I was better at engaging people and keeping up a conversation instead of being shy and anxious, but I will be more likely to do that if those people meet me halfway. Maybe they don't mean to give me the impression that they're avoiding me, maybe they're just as shy and anxious - but behind a screen, how do you know that for sure? I might be coming across as an attention-seeker with this, maybe I am, I don't know, but I don't intend that. I don't want to be the centre of attention, but I also don't want to feel left out. It's a conflict of interest and emotions, and it just makes me want to explode, to be honest.
On the same note, I'm also sick and tired of getting people on DA who only watch me or interact with me because they want something - only wanting to see certain types of art from me, wanting to do an art trade where they put nowhere near as much effort into their half of the trade as I do mine, etc.
In short: DA is supposed to be creative and enjoyable - and lately I'm not getting that.
To cap all of this bad stuff off, there's been a setback with my immigration to the US - me and Nicole were told that I could be moving there in August. Not anymore. Basically, it's going to take longer for the US Embassy to give me an interview date than previously thought, it's only the instructions on what I need to do that will be coming in August, not the interview date. It's now looking more likely that I will be having the visa interview in either October or November, which is later than we previously thought. Not gonna lie, both me and Nicole are frustrated about it, because it means more time apart - but on the flipside, it gives us more time to prepare for the interview, and it gives me more time with my family, which is good, and it softens the blow quite a bit. And there's that old saying, "everything happens for a reason" - maybe this is how it's meant to happen.
There has been light in this month too, though - on July 10th, me and my brother revisited a place from our childhood, the seaside town of Scarborough in North Yorkshire - and it was almost like 15 years hadn't passed. We had an absolute blast seeing the sights and reminiscing about our childhood memories, and you can read all about it right here.
Scarborough wasn't the only highlight of this month, either - the end of the month saw me and my brother also making another visit to the Sunderland Airshow. It was my fifth time there and ten years since my first visit, it was just as popular and packed as it was back then, and the aircraft displays as ever were nothing short of impressive - it never ceases to amaze me just how the pilots of those aircraft are able to pull off such technical and daredevil moves. The displays included the all-prop Blades aerobatic team; the Black Cats helicopter duo; two parachute drops from the Tigers Freefall Team and the RAF Falcons; the very loud Eurofighter Typhoon; the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight featuring the Spitfire and Hurricane; an air and ground attack demo by a pair of Hawk T2s, and of course the always awesome Red Arrows. Who knows if I'll ever get to go to that airshow again, given the circumstances, but never say never.
I hope I can give you a more positive blog next month - I'll leave you with some Shark Week-inspired artwork to brighten things up.
PS: Click the links below to check out the action from the Sunderland Airshow:
Sunderland Airshow 2015: Part 1
Sunderland Airshow 2015: Part 2
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